The Butcher of Gadobhra

Once again, Vice President Vernon Throckmorton arrived in Sedgewick dressed in a pair of burlap pants and a matching shirt. He turned quickly, scowling as he looked for the two idiot minions that had become the bane of his mornings. Ricardo was there waiting for him and Marceline. She looked him over, perusing his updated character sheet.

"Damn, they really did get you to level 5. A few hundred more experience points and you'll be ready to move up a Tier. But first, I think you've earned some breakfast."

The magical word made Vern perk up, and he followed her to the tavern, where, to his delight, a small table of tasty treats was laid out for him, with not a salad in sight. Marcy gestured at the table. "Pick four things for breakfast and get them inside you. We have some planning to do."

Vern took a plate and reached for the slices of ham but hesitated, deciding on poached trout instead. Likewise, the bacon made him pause. "This isn't just bad for me; it's poisoned!"

Suzette kept her face straight but grumbled inside. She'd used a fairly subtle poison on the bacon, but Vern was getting better at staying alive. But she had hopes for the cheese Danish, and Vern didn't disappoint when he took two of them, along with boiled eggs and an apple.

Marcy was happy with his choices. "You're getting there. We'll slim you down yet."

Vern grumbled around a mouthful of Danish. "You people are torturing me! You have no idea what those idiots put me through these past few days!"

"Of course I do. They made full reports, bragging about how good a job they were doing. Look at your stats! We're heading to positive territory and may start getting rid of some of those horrible conditions that are holding you back. You'll feel a lot better, trust me. And to help that along, let's work on spending those enhancement points and assigning your free points. We need to get rid of that double damage and increase your CON. Put the two free points in CON, and then spend points to raise your cap on CON by a point. Buy one point of Spirit of the Bear. That should put your CON all the way to 11, and you lose that double-damage modifier from Decrepid. We need to keep pushing up your CON, and hope the System notices."

Vern did so and actually smiled. "That does feel better."

Intimidation 1 (Cost: 2 points)

Minions, subjects, and lackeys who can see you are intimidated by your presence. They will strive to work harder and serve better. (This assumes they are lower level than the Lesser God Emperor whom they serve.

Intimidation 2 (Cost: 5 points)

Your aura is much stronger, influencing followers up to 1 Tier higher.

Lesser Smite! (Cost: 2 points)

Point at an enemy (or slacking minion) and smite them with a burst of lightning! Generally nonlethal to minions above Level 1. But painful! Mana Cost of 5.

Strong Smite: (Cost: 5 points)

Point at an enemy (or slacking minion) and smite them with a burst of lightning! Damage is equal to 100 + 5xWIS. Mana Cost of 100.

"Not bad. I can work with this. Hopefully, you get some better options at Tier 2 and some more points to spend before that. I want you to buy Intimidation 1 and then Smite! 1 and 2. That should put some fear into those bunnies. Speaking of which, let's get moving."

"I'm not using that wheelbarrow again! You can't make me!"

Marcy looked at Vernon but repressed the desire to break both his hips and send him to respawn. A little spine was OK at this point. "Not a problem. You've leveled Palanquin as far as you can go for this Tier anyway. But that means you're jogging. Start running. Ricardo, make sure he doesn't stop."

After they'd left, she turned to Suzette, "Thoughts?"

"A few. If you can get some more points, have him buy Stormborn and get an aspect for dealing with lightning, air, and storm magic. It will bring down the cost of that Smite! ability and give him more magical abilities. And Ben may have some thoughts on that. He's done some experimenting with electricity. Oh, and here. Take these, he's going to need them." She handed Marceline a set of burlap clothing.

"For after the battle?"

"More like for on the way. He did well, but he didn't pick up on the powerful diuretic in the cheese Danish.

"Damn it, I better get going then. Ricky can handle the cleanup. Someday, I want the full story of what Vern did to you people."

The Barmaid smiled, "Maybe someday. Your security clearance needs to be a lot higher. Have fun. Ozzy will meet you out there with some new toys for Vern to practice with."

Marceline jogged off, caught up to Ricky and Vernon, delivered the clean clothes, and went on her way. Vernon was looking a little green and sensing something was wrong, and she didn't want to stick around for the show. Two hours later, an exasperated Ricardo and an angry Vern finally got to Bunny Hill.

"Whoever made that food should be flogged!"

Marcy cut his ranting short. "Stow it. She's doing that under my orders. You let your sweet tooth get in the way of noticing the poison. Do better next time, and it won't happen. Surely the amazing perception of a God-Emperor can outwit the clumsy attempts of a minion trying to poison you? Those are survival skills, learn how to use them."

"I'm hungry and tired."

"Don't care. Have a sausage or two, then claim your grave and get to killing. I want to see this hill cleared of Fat Rabbits, Big Boned Rabbits, and even the Chunky Rabbits. Use your new Smite! spell at the lowest setting to get their attention. I want you to get used to using it, but save your mana for a big fight. And if a named bunny shows up, you damn well better win. Every point counts."

Vern sighed and cursed inwardly, but retrieved his fur outfit from his grave. "How long do I have to wear this ridiculous stuff?"

"Until you get some more STR and slim down enough to get rid of some of your problems. We're already working on a beautiful set of armor for you. But it's useless if you can't move in it. Kill bunnies, get strong. Work up a little of the anger we saw in your last fight."

Vern complied, "SMITE!" The Fat Rabbit he'd singed was surprised but turned to glare at him and then hopped clumsily to battle. Vern slammed his mace into its head and walked up the hill. He slowly killed the hill of every rabbit, sprinting towards them at the end when Battle Fury kicked in. But without the additional potions, he didn't lose complete control, which disappointed Ozzy.

Vern came back from the hill, sat down in the shade, and asked, "What's for lunch?"

The Butcher was cooking over an open fire, where several rabbits were spitted. He took one and handed it to Vern. "Roasted Rabbit on a stick. Eat it all, lots of energy in there to keep you going." He handed one to Marcy and took one for himself. Vern consumed his and then went to sleep, and began to snore.

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She bit into hers and then ate rapidly. "How in hell do you make those things taste so good?"

Ozzy grinned at the compliment. "A little salt and spice, and a lot of smoke. These taste a lot better than the rabbit we ate our first time out here. This is where my group started as well. Did a lot worse than Vern, actually. Hadn't learned about all the contract worker restrictions yet. It took four of us to kill one rabbit."

"From what I've heard, you're a little better at killing things now."

Ozzy winked at her, "It's all about learning to play the game, which I'm sure you already know, and Vern doesn't have a clue about. With his class, he could have been a terrifying powerhouse, but he's still barely able to handle himself in a fight with the weakest critters around. Those skills don't help."

"Yeah, some are worthless, but with your group's help, we've made some of them work. Once we finish up his combat skills, he and the new recruits are going to have a long and exasperating week. I'm going to put Vern in charge of a troop and have him follow them around, shouting orders and marching them all over the Barony. He's got two charisma skills that will rise: Leadership and Lead from the Rear. I need to see those in action."

"All your mercenaries are players? That would let you do some live-fire drills with the veterans."

Marcy smiled evilly. "Oh, certainly planning on that. We'll start with the vets ambushing the recruits and see how Vernon keeps his head, then move on to small unit tactics. It should be fun for the vets, bloody and painful for the new guys, and help them bond a bit. Nothing like shared trauma to bring people together."

Ozzy gestured to the hill. "Looks like the rabbits are popping out of their holes. Time to wake Vern up. After he clears them this time, we'll start setting up for the night's festivities."

Marcy had to kick Vernon several times to get him moving, but once he'd killed his first rabbit, his Battle Rage kicked in, and he got moving. A half-hour later, as the last Fat Rabbit died, there was a rumbling, dirt flew, and something large popped out of a new hole. Where Fat Rabbits had most of their mass below the waist, this one was shaped like an inverted triangle with skinny legs and narrow hips that seemed odd when looking at the broad, muscled shoulders and long arms. Huge teeth crowded its mouth, and a pair of long ears topped its head. It glared at Vernon and snarled.

Tasmanian Devil-Rabbit (Level 3 Elite)

He made a wrong turn at Albuquerque and ended up here. He's hungry, and you look like lunch!

Ozzy said, "Oh shit."

Marcy yelled, "Vern! Smite! it hard, over and over!"

Vern eagerly raised his mace and complied, bringing down lightning over and over onto the Devil-Rabbit's head, singeing its ears and fur, and stunning it over and over again. Seven spells later, Vern was out of juice, and the evil-looking bunny was reeling. Vern's eyes gleamed red, and he charged at it, screaming. The Devil-Rabit turned into a whirlwind of claws and teeth, meeting him halfway. Neither was good at dodging. Vern took long, bloody slashes as he brought his mace down over and over on the creature's head. But both opponents were on their last bits of stamina, huffing and puffing, unable to lift their arms. They glared at each other, and eventually, Vern's legs gave out, and he sat down. The Devil-Bunny tried to pounce, but his own legs were giving out, and he fell on his face.

Ozzy sighed, grabbed both of them, and pushed both into his campfire, holding them down. "Let's see who lasts the longest." He gave the fire a little help with some Butcher's Breath. Vernon's meager Fire Resistance gave him enough of an edge to last longer than the boss rabbit. As the boss died, Ozzy let him stagger away from the fire, collapse, and die.

What a way to end a fight! Mutual Death by Butcher.

Unca Varn has earned 3 Enhancement points plus 1 from Destined for Greatness. (I'm rounding down this time, you owe me half a point!)

And with all the lightning you tossed around, the System awards you with the Stormborn aspect as a Tertiary Skill.

Ozzy cleaned and spitted the boss and put him over the fire, wrapped in smoke. "Might as well cook this boy up for dinner. You're going to need your energy tonight."

"I won't turn down a meal, but what's going on tonight?"

"Well, we seem to have a little free time with Vern out of the way early, and I'd like to get some training in. I need some lessons in using a two-handed, edged weapon."

He pulled the Hog-Splitter he'd liberated from Grinder out of his bag.

Marcy picked it up, "Damn, this sucker is heavy! Going to be slow and hard to swing. But sure, I can coach you in the basics. Have you ever used a great sword?"

"Not since EQO1, a long time ago, but I know the basics in my head. I just can't use a great sword in Genesis. But this thing counts as a Butcher Weapon, and I've got a couple of special abilities that will help with learning to swing it properly."

"Fine, where at?"

"Let's say midnight at the corrals. No one there but the sedge beasts, and they know how to keep a secret."

Vernon Throckmeyer

Titles:

Unca Varn, challenger of the God-Emperor. Destined for Greatness. (Bonus Advancement Points)

Lesser God-Emperor: +1 CHR, +1 STR, and +1 Free point per level.

War Road Builder: Extra Rewards for Winning Battles

Class: Lesser God-Emperor in Training

Level 5

Health: 720

Stamina: 375 (750)

Mana: 690

STR: 10 (-4)

CON: 11 (-8) Rank 6

DEX: 0

AGI: 5 (-4)

INT: 2 (-2)

WIS: 7 (-2) (Rank 6)

CHA: 7 (-6)

PER: 0 (-2)

COR: 1

Experience: 6000 (Maximum for Tier 1)

Conditions:

Poor Diet: Eating poorly has sapped your strength and stamina. Lifting and carrying capacity is at half. Stamina is halved.

Centenarian: All negative stat effects from conditions are doubled.

Elderly: +1 WIS, -1 CON, -1 STR

Obesity: Speed is lowered to 50%. -2 AGI, -1 CON, -1 STR

Doddering: Your mind wanders and lacks focus. -1 INT, -1 CHR, -1 WIS, -1 PER

Decrepid: -2 CON, -2 CHR. Your body is past the point of obesity and unhealthy, sliding into death. Any damage taken is doubled until you have a positive CON.

NEGATIVE STATS ARE TREATED AS ZERO FOR CALCULATING HEALTH, STAMINA, and MANA.

Primary Skills:

Ranting (CHA), Rank 5

Berate Minion (CHA), Rank 4

Ceremonial Mace (STR), Rank 5

Impressive Trough Feeding (WIS), Rank 2

Warmongering (CHA), Rank 0

Lead From the Rear (INT) Rank 0

Secondary Skills:

Obliviousness to Danger (WIS), Rank 5

Lack of Empathy (COR), Rank 1

Political Infighting (INT), Rank 0

Leadership (CHA) Rank 0

Acid Resistance (CON) Rank 4

Lesser Poison Resistance (CON) Rank 4

Tertiary Skills:

Palanquin (AGI), Rank 5

Fire Resistance (CON), Rank 2

Battle Fury (STR), Rank 2

Storm Born, Aspect of Air and Storms (INT), Rank 2

Jogging (CON), Rank 1